My bursary of bliss:
I just began the list today, so I'll probably add more as I think of others.
"For it is God’s love that warms me in the sun and God’s love that sends the cold rain. It is God’s love that feeds me in the bread I eat and God that feeds me also by hunger and fasting. It is the love of God that sends the winter days when I am cold and sick, and the hot summer when I labor and my clothes are full of sweat: but it is God Who breathes on me with light winds off the river and in the breezes out of the wood. His love spreads the shade of the sycamore over my head and sends the water-boy along the edge of the wheat field with a bucket from the spring while the laborers are resting and the mules stand under the tree.
It is God’s love that speaks to me in the birds and streams; but also behind the clamor of the city God speaks to me in His judgments, and all these things are seeds sent to me from His will.
If these seeds would take root in my liberty, and if His will would grow from my freedom, I would become the love that He is, and my harvest would be His glory and my own joy.
And I would grow together with thousands and millions of other freedoms into the gold of one huge field praising God, loaded with increase, loaded with wheat. If in all things I only consider the heat and the cold, the food or the hunger, the sickness or labor, the beauty or pleasure, the success and failure or the material good or evil my works have won for my own will, I will find only emptiness and not happiness. I shall not be fed, I shall not be full. For my food is the will of Him Who made me and Who made all things in order to give Himself to me through them."
~excerpt from pg. 18~19 of New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton
And so that I might become the love that He is for His glory and my own joy, I attempt to consider all the seeds of His will so that they may take root. And so, I continue to count...
:: solitary time in the nighttime hours
:: reading by lamplight
:: silky purple pillowcase, pilling from use
:: peaceful, lulling fan hum
:: journal of letters..written to me
:: cocoon of sage green walls
:: ethereal colors formed from light bent through blown glass and cast on open pages
:: photo vignette of dear ones far away
:: books read, books that have shaped me, and books that await in anticipation of being read
:: a peace, stillness and quiet, feeling that all the world is asleep and it's just me awake, time frozen ~ only thawed by my thoughts
"I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me."I, as the Creator of the Pancake, am so much greater than the facts of my pancake's reality. The same goes for me as God's creation. Creator God is so much greater than the facts of my reality that it would seem at times that, viewing God through the lens of my reality, God contradicts reason.
"The little we do understand, that grain of sand our minds are capable of grasping, those ideas such as God is good, God feels, God loves, God knows all, are enough to keep our hearts dwelling on His majesty and otherness forever."Does this mean I'll stop seeking, discerning, and contemplating because I won't ever fully understand? No, and I don't think I'm supposed to. But as my mind reels to grasp the unknown, my heart can rest in awe because my Creator transcends my understanding.