Monday, April 18, 2011

So Tell Me Again?

 "So tell me why again you do that?" he asks me after I mention that I count gifts.  
He glances up at me, a half~smile curling his lips and I sense that he just wants to hear, to watch me speak.  
I smile also as his hand finds mine, feeling like Ann as I explain, "I count so that I see God in everyday moments, so that I'm thankful and don't miss all the gifts that point back to Him."  Eyes meet and... breathe... "This moment is a gift..."  

:: friends who draw out my hidden & latent spontaneity
:: hands covering eyes during a scary movie, an arm beside me to grasp
:: peach glow fringed with slate clouds, backdrop to mountainous skyline
:: a quick visit that turns into 6 hours
:: dense fog giving way to muted luminance of murky lights as I drive toward the city
:: baby smiles at the coffeeshop, little ones who beam into face and rub each other's bald heads
:: white tree blossoms blown across the street, bouncing like popping popcorn on the pavement
:: spring photoshoots with future suitemates

Counting at Holy Experience today:

Monday, April 4, 2011

Anything but my Age

Why I'm Young at Heart

::  I look young.
My age was always overestimated throughout my childhood and teenage years. Perhaps because of my height?  Or astounding maturity? ; )  But currently, my sister & I are asked who is older and she was born two months after my fourth birthday.

::  I eat dry Cheerios.

::  I {heart} goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, animal crackers, candy necklaces, & ring pops.

::  I can't hold back tears.  My emotional regulating abilities can be a bit... lacking.

::  Sometimes I wear my hair in a high ponytail and whip my hair back and forth like Willow Smith.

::  I thrash around in foaming ocean waters, ride the waves & let my hair become whipped and salty, never sunbathing on the shore with sunglasses and perfect hair like the other early twenties girls women.

::  My profs still refer to my peers & me as "the kids."

::  Sometimes I just want my mom.

:: My idea of a mixed drink involves Ginger Ale & Cran~Grape Juice.

::  I attend birthday parties at the local Bounce~Plex; jumping, running, sliding...

::  I wear jingle bell earrings at Christmastime.

::  I lack self~control around chocolate.

Why I'm an Old Soul

::  I read mommy blogs.

::  I probably have stronger opinions regarding Gary Ezzo & Dr. Sears than  any other non~mother my age.

::  I can't stand cartoons.

::  I contemplate life while sitting in coffeeshops.

::  Noise & chaos wear me out.

::  I need several shots of espresso in my system throughout the day, coming from delightful sources such as mocha frappuccinos & chocolate chip mocha crunch coffees topped with mountains of white chocolate drizzle & more chocolate chips. 

::  I read theology books for fun. 

::  I keep a baby names favorite list. 

::  I'm fascinated by local history and family genealogy. 

::  I'm a "cute dress w/ leggings, sophisticated metropolitan fashion" enthusiast.

::  Flashing lights and rock music in church aren't my style; I attend a  small, reflective/contemplative, service~oriented, hipster~influenced church.

::  I feel most "myself" in a teacher~caregiver~mommyish role.

{What about you?  Are you young at heart?  Or an old soul?}


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

What So Much Depends Upon

We're sitting in history class and professor clicks to the next powerpoint slide.

so much depends

a red wheel

glazed with rain

beside the white
 ~{William Carlos Williams, 1923}

The air is aWkwArD. It feels....
too simple.  Uncomfortably so.

I scan the class from my perch in the back of the classroom, --{I always sit here to survey... I watch.}-- upholstered bucket seats & stadium seating fall in terrace below my lookout.

My eyes stop on slouched basketball star, his hair braided in thick rows.  He frowns at the poem, no doubt unimpressed, re-reading, thinking there must be more.

I shift in my seat, half-waiting for someone to say what we're all thinking.  "Yes..and??"

Lectures on the 1920s & Modernism showcase this period's willingness to "risk a certain amount of incoherence and experimentation in order to challenge preconceived notions of value and order."

Professor says, "I wrote my entire dissertation on this William Carlos Williams poem."
But how to eek out meaning in sixteen words of apparent randomness describing an arbitrary scene? & exactly what "depends upon" it? 

Yet, isn't this a lesson to learn?  This challenging preconceived ideas of beauty, of significance, of ways of life?  Taking each moment as meaningful & each breath as bread?

I feel the moment suspend, one moment of life that I could let pass and forget for it's assumed insignificance. 

In the margin of my notes I scratch down:

so much depends

a brow knit

perched on tiered

searching for meaning
in quotidian.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Fudge, Steak, & Pimples

This semester I have a practicum in a second grade classroom four mornings a week.  Since I'm used to 2, 3, & 4 year~olds, these mid-elementary students seem like BIG kids to me!  Nevertheless, they've supplied me with some fun tiny talk snippets!


: :  Standing in line waiting to leave the classroom, glasses hanging on the tip of his nose, Boy Ba announces, "I wish I had some chocolate fudge right now!"

You & me both, boy!!


: :  Returning from our field trip, Girl M spots animals grazing in a distant field.  "I want steak!  Are those horses in that field?  If they're cows, I want to stop and kill one to make my steak."

What a lovely thing for a vegetarian teacher to hear! 


: :  Boy Br volunteers to turn out the lights so the class can see the SmartBoard projection.  Returning to his seat, he grins at his tablemates, declaring, "My pimples are getting big!!"

He, of course, means "pupils."

{After teaching in the education field for a few years, will I finally stop feeling the urge to laugh at inappropriate comments?  Doubtful.  I just hope & pray no one decides to fart out loud in class.  Student teacher laughing at farts = not a good look.} Linking up with Mary for Tiny Talk Tuesday.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Gifts {139-148}

| Amish apple pie and cinnamon rolls with buttercream icing

| dashing through warm spring rain

| first crocuses of the year

| 2nd graders on picture day

| "That was kinda fun.. working with you," after one-on-one instruction with hard~to~reach boy

| eager raised hands to volunteer answers

| waking up at 8 am & feeling like I slept in

| white chocolate mocha crunch in the morning

| "I miss you" text in the still of night

| dreams, anticipation of summer

And finally, just slipping this in here.
My photo was one among the featured at the Bloom Book Club
at Incourage in this final post of the series.
Five of my munchkins & I are on the second slide.

So appreciative and honored to have been a part of reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts with a community of readers.

& the counting continues. . . 

Monday, March 14, 2011

Multitude Monday

I try to count and realize I've lost track.  Haven't recorded since. . . Christmas?  I check back and oh, of course -- picking up at 130:

{130}  ..  roadtrip to friend's hometown & shopping weekend

{131}  ..  crackling of spring thaw

{132}  ..  chocolate chip bagel in booth corner

{133}  ..  a moment of quiet in pitch-purple stillness of late night

{134}  ..  speaking with only a gaze

{135}  ..  hilltop view of city lights

{136}  ..  instantaneous connection between stranger {& no longer stranger} and I

{137}  ..  heart~to~heart with young mentee-friend

{138}  ..  stampede of tiny feet, jump-&-cling hugs

Giving thanks with Ann today:

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Threes About Me

I was looking through my drafts folder and found this little diddy that I wrote several weeks ago but never ended up posting. 

Three names I go by:
1) Miss Leah
2) Leah Bonita
3) Leah Boo

Three jobs I have had in my life:
1) Daycare teacher
2) Babysitter
3) Pianist/violinist for special events

Three places I have lived in the past:
1) Morgantown, WV
2) Grantham, PA
3) Philadelphia, PA

Three favorite drinks:
1) Mocha Crunch Coffee (Java Cooler) from Organic Grounds
2) Cake Batter Shake from Coldstone Creamery
3) Starbucks Mocha Frappuccinos

Three shows I watch:
1) The Bachelor/ The Bachelorette
2) Supernanny
3) What Would You Do?

Three favorite foods:
1) Lentil casserole
2) Arroz con habichuelas rosadas {Puerto Rican rice & beans}
3) Chocolate cake

Three things I am looking forward to:
1) Graduating college w/ degree in elementary education & Spanish
2) Becoming a teacher in inner~city Philadelphia
3) Adopting a child from foster care